Are you the square root of -1? Because you can’t be real.

There’s something wrong with my cell phone. It doesn’t have your number in it.

Are you from Tennessee? Cause you’re the only Ten I see. ON THE ACIDITY SCALE CAUSE YOU’RE BASIC!

I’m not google, but I have everything you’re searching for

You owe me a drink (why) because your so ugly I dropped mine.

What’s long and black? (Pause) The KFC line.

If Internet Explorer is brave enough to ask you to be your default browser, I’m brave enough to ask you out!

Didn’t You Wear That Yesterday?

Your eyes are as blue as the sea I dumped my ex’s body in.

I’m willing to lower my standards if you’re going on a date with me.