You are almost as hot as my mom.

How much does it cost to date you? Cause damn, you look expensive!

Your Face [Pause] I like that shit!

You look exactly like my future ex-wife.

Did you die recently? Cause girl, you look like an angel to me.

I know where they give out free drinks. [Where?] My House!

You’d be so much more cute if you had my money. [whatever she replies] Sorry I don’t date gold diggers!

I might be ugly but I’ll treat you right!

I just want to tell you that you’re really beautiful [pause] but I’m gay.

You dropped something! What? (Point at the ground) Your standards.